Well, "Pikachu" leads me to post this. What he wrote inspires me to blog again. At such a time. Everyone was having their hard time. Nothing is easy as we know.
Something is wrong with me. I've never felt so lost, complicated, worried and disappointed as now before. I dont know what to say, just that I dont know what's going on with me. I'm afraid. Afraid that I cant even pass this semester. Studies are not hard, assignments are not hard, just that when everything is clogged together, worst things happen.
Two days ago, was my final design crit. The day before was the pin-up day. Really thankful and appreciate my classmates for always ready to help and back me up no matter how sucks am I. That day, yiteng helped me to think the space planning for my design and yeah I just draw it on my board instantly. What surprise me was he didn't said a second word after I requested him to think for me. I'm shocked, then he was just, "Yan!! Yan!!" The tone like, you can do better. I know I know. I was actlly just kidding that time. But he straight away get a paper and narrate for me. The yiteng last time would definitely not doing this for anyone. People change, problem is towards the positive or negative side.
As expected, the crit turned out to be horrible. Being the person behind Parsa, is even worse. I saw him presenting, I feel like digging a grave and jump into it. I was being shot and criticized. What hurt me was not what she said, but myself. I was really................down that time. I dont even bother to speak a word. I'm tired.
Finish about that, yesterday while chatting with him, I was pissed because whatever I did, he just want to relate me and xx. I dont know why am I pissed, I just not very happy bout it. Is it because I still have feelings towards him? I'm seriously bothered by this issue. Can someone help me to get rid of this?
p.s. Searching for remedy.
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