An update on Dec 25.

If SY said she is worse than her friend, then I'm probably 'worser' than her? Often times update with only 1/2 lines, cursing ppl, complaining, bla bla bla........ lol

What's going on with me is just more or less the same routine, so nothing interesting to talk about.
I just want to post on this about my bf. We are sort of low profile couple. He is not romantic and I'm the bossy type of girlfriend, 温柔 is not my thing though. Haha. So for Christmas, I dont expect anything from him, and he dont expect anything for me(perhaps? lol) even that I always say Xmas must give present. *demanding gf

So that day he surprisingly brought the bear to my house. I was really excited that time because that is the bear that I wanted since..........1 year ago? haha But i'm not a fan or very super like teddy bear, so I dont feel a necessary to own that. Hahahaaha.. He hide it beside my pillow, but worried that I'm too dumb to not notice it. Lol

Haha these are the cute ConY and Brown that we saw in Hamleys Toy Store in 1U. We only brought Brown back. :/

So from me to him, I made him a 'Idk-how-to-name-that-thing' aka handmake-decorated-box? Oh well, whatever name it is. Bought the wooden box and the Xmas tree from Typo, photoshoped some images, the rest are decoration origami from the Internet. Things that money can't buy is the most precious thing. :D Posting here cz he wont read this, so I guess it's still a surprise for him? XD

A wooden box

+ 

Sugar. Spice. And everything nice. :D

    + 

3D stars

=

Tadaaaaaa

It didn't turned out as what I planned though. This is simpler. Anyway less is more? *Ignore the background pls==

It's a Xmas present, but it's still with me. Was supposed to go out today, but....hmmph. And I spent my day at home, while the boy is maybe going out meeting the ex. *sounds serious? nahh.. gathering la.. haha   Positively, I can watch TV? I think I spent most of the time with my TV, my buddy companion. I'd watch almost every show from the freaking box! LOL

Till here then, I think this is very long ady for me. haha. Continue with my Masterchef Australia. Ciaoz~!

Lastly........................

MERRY XMAS PEEPS! <3>

My last post was nearly a month ago. Always wanted to write on something, but ended up without a clear idea. Or maybe my life is just too dull currently. Suggest me maybe?

sometimes i would think, what is l-o-v-e ?

The years to come.

Okay, since you think i'm in my mood swing now(which i'm not actly), i'm just lazy to deny.
Well, leaving to Penang tmr evening for 5 days. The sem break trip with fellow classmates. Havent pack a single thing. Lol. But yeah just listed out something so that I wont forget them tomorrow. (hopefully)
Every trip it goes the same to me. I just feel lazy and dont feel like moving now in my own comfort zone. Dont have the mood yet. Just just now, finish seeing where the homestay is, where is where and what is what.

Years to come, my dream to travel budgetly(backpacking) around the world, no time frame. Currently no guest on board yet cz I'm not sure if anyone wants to join me in this long long long long trip. I would probably gv myself 6-9 months for this, provided with enough cash to spend. Travelling alone is not a bad idea too(just that it's a bit hard to take photo wise.. haha). Doesnt need to explain to anyone, no planning, spontaneous destination, no need to bother about any nonsense and do whatever i like within my ability. It is cool isn't it? I dont even need to care of anyone's feeling. How easy and relax it could be.

Yeah want to go Utah so much. I dont know what I can do there, just wanted to go. Or maybe not doing anything thing just lying on the dessert whole day?

And watch aurora at Northern state(Canada or North Pole maybe?)

Aurora Borealis - Damn i thought this was photoshoped at first. I meant I thought aurora doesn't exist (I'm a katak I know LOL)

And the Singapore trip on dec...................... hvn tell my mum(haha) hvn buy return flight. Practicing need not to buy return ticket for my future plan. haha


i dont mind you lie a lil'. But i seriously hate ppl who cant tell a white lie. White lie in my dictionary means telling lies which create no harm to anyone without letting anyone knows. 

C yaa~! Bon voyage~!!

Pre-exam procrastination

Well the papers are tmr. I feel like i'll be so dead. Nothing goes in. Horrible. Just want to run away from here. Heavy mood swing of nonsense.

Escape is not a solution, therefore i shall wait.

I'm really easily satisfied. Why dont you do a lil' bit more? Everyone is tensed up, I dont want to complain. But i'm not really happy. ;(

Invaded by emotions

That day was really bad. Yeap I cried(shyt). So moodless that I dont even wanna talk to anyone. He called (few times, maybe?) I picked up at last, and i was just en.. en.. en.. At night he called to asked for dinner, I shall say that i feel much better that time. Then when he reached my house, due to some stuff, he cant eat with me. Madness started to rise. I just keep silence and told him to go back. The day after he told me that he was worried of me. I feel bad for making other feel bad. I'm actlly very warm-hearted when he said that he doesn't want to only be my '挂牌' boyfriend. Maybe I'm still used to keep things to myself. Although it's quite annoying when someone keep bugging you when you are like so frustrated, but at least you know there's someone who would care.

p.s Thanks for tolerating my hot-tempered and 'man-ness'. I'll try to be more gentle next time okay? ;))

That silly face  <3 td="">

Wanted to blog on my Singapore trip, but shooo shoooo shooo lazy~! :P

Hell begin soon

Haihhhhhhh My 1 week holiday gonna end soon! SHit noooooooo

NEW BLOG SKIN

Yup, as you can see, my blog skin has changed, like finally after years. I was testing the layout for history blog, ended up mine like totally ran off the allignments. So here it goes now. Haha. Yup the previous was like shit, i admit it. So i dont even give a damn to even update it. xD but this was a bit..........to sweet girly, so not my style! LOL. Still it's better than the previous one so for the meantime i'll just stick with this first until I have time to reedit again. I'm so sucks in blogging, just bear with it. xD

Time past real fast. Many things come and go rapidly. Last week was the Singapore Trip with the classmates. Every semester we have a trip. At first our semester trip was to Port Dickson, but after some revolt, we joined the Sem3 to Singapore. Indeed, it's a good decision. XD

First time going overseas trip with friends, a little excited and adventurous. (Before going was totally not in the mood, probably like so many things to do). So we departed on last Friday and came back on Sunday.
We didn't really visited a lot of places, because the first day was like a disaster. Wait wait wait for this and that, wasted a lot of time. And the trip to National Science Centre on the second day took like half a day and we just hang around Orchard Road at night.

at the National Science Centre

Back to KL, i spent the first day of off campus week (monday) on my bed. Yeah i was sleeping whole day. Bacically I can sleep whenever and wherever. HAHA. I broke my record of waking up at 4.30pm. BRAVO! *applause*

And the next day, tuesday. WeiJan told us that she's leaving on Thursday morning. Hell fast! Damn. So the last minute supper gathering plan was brought up by...... SY? I think so.. haha.. And YES! Everyone made it!. We girls dont really that girlish kind of ppl, that's y we can hang around for years without getting bored and bother anybody else. Wherever we go, the atmosphere will be surrounded by noise, no matter in high class restaurants or in a mall or something. Haha. Till we meet again next year, I'm so happy and excited for you!

And yeah! We can selca EVERYWHERE ! XDD

They say Friday the 13th is a black day, but indeed mine was great. xD
13September is a day to remember. I hope we could build our memories together. :))

I'm not like you people out there, born with golden key in the mouth.

I'd been washing my face with tears recently. I feel that I'm so fragile now that even a small matter could easily poke through me and leave a hole for some time for it to cure.
I'm not as tough, as brave, as wise and as 'whatever' as I thought.
I'M SO SICK OF MYSELF. WHO WOULD OTHER PPL NOT SICK OF ME!

I do admit we have some happy times together. But I still feel insecure deep down. Maybe because I know you too well?

Trying my best to not give a damn. But words are always easier than action.
I believe someday I'll found someone who really appreciate my everything.

pls dont piss me off again !

Low batt?? Yeah right. -,-

我认真怀疑我吞了炸弹

这个少爷还真难服侍。

为什么不能好来好去?

A day

It's a manner to say tht you like it when ppl give you something although you are not so.. After all it's the heart that counts right? lol C:

Complexity

I don't say because I don't want to make everyone sophisticated. But now you are making me sophisticated. Then I thought you said love is a lie?

I'm fucking not feeling great now.
Too much things to say but no one to spill to.
Many things happened at once, i'm feeling stupid for having low EQ.
I almost cry just now by just a simple stupid thg.
I tried my very best to ignore anything.
I want to stay away, far away.

Would you willing to be my listener?

We lasted the conversation for quite some time, until that name came out. Am I too sensitive or what? I wonder if you ever feel the lil' depression behind every 'haha'?

I want the old me. The one who doesn't give a fuck on anything.

I feel so restricted to post on my own blog.

UBAH ! UBAH ! UBAH !

That's the common hot shout out that we'd been heard for the past few weeks.
First of all to stress, below are just my opinion and thoughts. If any conditions that we have different thoughts or feeling, ignore it and move on.

GE13, lots of dramas that we'd seen, on the social media. So far I did not share any because I personally do not 100% believe on the 'rumors' therefore doesn't want to make things worse. Bangla, blackout, chinese tsunami bla bla bla.

Well the bangla thing we really saw through photos that they really appeared at the election place. Fake I/C photos on fb, but i would want to say that these could be photoshop. Again, I'm NOT on any sides. I support those who can bring positive development to our country. Maybe IF Lim G.E is the PR head, I would fully support PR. Because what he contributed for Penang, we can all SEE and that's a very healthy society. No matter who is from which side, if what he did is correct, I think the others leader should implement them as well, take away the egoism. Indelible ink was bullshit.

And then the Janji Pakatan Rakyat, to free this and free that, i mean like no need pay for toll, ptptn, harga minyak, etc etc. My concern is if you free everything to the people, from where do you want to get money to administrate the country? Ok well, I know there's some place in the world that gives free education and bla bla bla. lazy to elaborate more. But if suddenly you want to implement such drastic changes, you are putting our country in a huge risk.

And yesterday, there's no blackout in Bentong. "经查证，文冬昨晚没有停电。本页关于的停电的贴文，将删除",  by 颜江瀚. Everyone believes whatever being shared and caused the blackout rumors spread hell wide. No evidence, everyone believes. And started the black profile pic, in my opinion should put white. Dunno, but i think white is more appropriate. And today, comes the yellow 3 stripes.

I agree with the doubts that happened. E.g the figures/statistics of seats won. That's why I went to spr website to look at the statistics. Your site FAIL bro. So complicated and mafan that I closed it cz fed up ady. But when you win, you dont say? If you noticed the votes, seats taken by Pakatan seriously have won through huge majority votes. And Pas was very bad and merely wins. DAP gained my respect btw, bcz of Lim G.E. Clap for you.

I wanna share one thing here.
With the caption, "大家敢敢share!!
這是證據！！

96年出世的一個老阿婆！！
我去查了！
竟然有得去投票！！
什麽道理！！
敢敢share出去！！！！！！！！！！" 

The truth is, she was born in 1986. Any problem? No, but being spreaddddddd as though as fraud IC.

The power of social media. https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=626201797409098&set=a.480290442000235.121893.440188876010392&type=1&relevant_count=1

I dont discuss this publicly with friends because I know everyone is at pakatan side. They will just say, Hey bodoh la you support bn. you still want them to rule ah? bl bla bla.. It's too obvious cz 100% my fb page are bn's negative news. Again, I'm party-free. I just want to voice out that DO NOT BELIEVE EVERYTHING on fb, some might be real as well. But think rationally, if bangla dont do those jobs that you dont want to do, who do? Do you want Bersih rally again? I dont. Demonstration is not Malaysian style. Writing and spamming on Obama's page is so immature I would say. The outside force will take opportunity to weaken us and we might never sounded again in any international conferences, but well, although Malaysia never been put in any country's eyes aso. And hey I dont think Obama have time for this. I even saw comments that, that stupid guy want us back to be colonized. Com'on I feel like giving 10 face palm to him with a table. Some people are blindly brainwashed by the social media. Have you seen any negative news of the opposition on fb? Because of party, some of good bn candidates lose, being washed off of what he had done for the past 5 years. People vote because of party, the hope that they said.

Re-election is the best method for me. But this time I guarantee bn will lose kaw kaw. A friendly reminder, please do not share false propaganda. Do not share blindly, click into it and read the comments. Analyse. Do not flame something that you are unsure of. Chinese tsunami I not dont  have time to update myself yet, so not commenting here.

Finally, let me end this in Malay language. Sungguh memalukan yang menjadi bahan ketawa di mata duna. Ini kalilah, kita popular sekali!

I'm writing this because I am a concern citizen. As Melvin said, stay united, stay focused. Steady lah. Again, I strongly against any demonstration. I still have things to said, but enough la. Nanti kena boikot pula. lol Just sharing guys. If mm ngam teng then delete this memory.

- I'm a Chinese and I'm racist towards typical Chinese. If you admit you are typical, yeah I'm saying you.

p.s: Here if you are concern, an article worth to share. https://www.facebook.com/notes/shern-ren-tee/in-darkest-night-a-blueprint-for-sunrise/142290832622751 Peace.

知道他们的东西，我很烦。

彼此在提对方，我在意。

看到他们在一起, 我没感觉。

讨厌自己那么犯贱。

I'm typical too, sometimes. 

On the chair.

Well, "Pikachu" leads me to post this. What he wrote inspires me to blog again. At such a time. Everyone was having their hard time. Nothing is easy as we know.

Something is wrong with me. I've never felt so lost, complicated, worried and disappointed as now before. I dont know what to say, just that I dont know what's going on with me. I'm afraid. Afraid that I cant even pass this semester. Studies are not hard, assignments are not hard, just that when everything is clogged together, worst things happen.

Two days ago, was my final design crit. The day before was the pin-up day. Really thankful and appreciate my classmates for always ready to help and back me up no matter how sucks am I. That day, yiteng helped me to think the space planning for my design and yeah I just draw it on my board instantly. What surprise me was he didn't said a second word after I requested him to think for me. I'm shocked, then he was just, "Yan!! Yan!!" The tone like, you can do better. I know I know. I was actlly just kidding that time. But he straight away get a paper and narrate for me. The yiteng last time would definitely not doing this for anyone. People change, problem is towards the positive or negative side.

As expected, the crit turned out to be horrible. Being the person behind Parsa, is even worse. I saw him presenting, I feel like digging a grave and jump into it. I was being shot and criticized. What hurt me was not what she said, but myself. I was really................down that time. I dont even bother to speak a word. I'm tired.

Finish about that, yesterday while chatting with him, I was pissed because whatever I did, he just want to relate me and xx. I dont know why am I pissed, I just not very happy bout it. Is it because I still have feelings towards him? I'm seriously bothered by this issue. Can someone help me to get rid of this?

p.s. Searching for remedy.

Impatient

When someone is obviously doing way better than you and say, "I'm worry bla bla bla". I think u wanna kena slap is it?

Can someone just tear me apart and see the inside of me.

I'm exhausted too sometimes.

p.s. Mentally not so fine. 我要睡觉，可以吗？

I dont wanna see anymore. Everytime I see posts like that, i'm scared, deep inside my heart.

Text again.

Well, someone found my hiding place here ady. Cant really post like everything ady. haha. but well, thanks for telling me though, so that i'll know what stupid stuffs that I cant share here. LOL
And 1 more thing, i wonder how frequent will you click on my url and visit here again. Hahahaha

Anyways, today's focus was about the movie & the dinner. Seriously I dont mind to watch Ah Boys to Men2 for another time. It's quite funny and nice though. And some part of the movie did make me feel so touched and at the same time, humorous as well. I want to download this and watch again! XDD

Then we had dinner. Gossip girls time again. haha. and yeah. red velvet cake @ Delicious taste just nice~! xD

I guess that's all. Lazy to think anymore. Ciaoz. 

It's raining and i'm crying. TT

Cry no tears

Suddenly I dunno what feeling I should have right now. I'm just sucks in everything. Each time I'm so disappointed with myself yet no improvement is taken. I guess no one could be worse than me.

So simple yet so complicated.

The same thing, feelings, thoughts kept repeating and repeating and i'm so sick of it already. Always tell myself to forget it and move on, but failed everytime. I please myself to walk out. Please.

Everyone is being tough for their own story. I have mine. Do not enter.

Lazy to talk to ppl like tht. Zzzzz Want to tell then tell, don't want to tell then DONT SAY! -.-

The smile kills me every single shot. OMG like seriously! I shall stop looking by now. LOL

The only reason to be grateful for the start of new semester is that I set myself in the busy mood and stop thinking about all these nonsense that will put me into emo-ness. Clear enough.