I dont want to hate you. Seriously! #$%^&*!

Chi ma gan

Part 2

Here comes the 2nd story. I knew this girl like during the lat few days of our work. Not really know though, just name and stuffs. I admit I have prejudice towards her after what she said the other day. == Wherever she's there, no matter in AD or BIZ, I won't be there to help out Carson or ah thong. Not that I dont like her, just that complicated feeling that I dont want see her. So bitchy right, I meant me. == yeah I know.

I know she is cute, polite(as what ah tong said), 18 years old. So what? == And this is the 2nd 926 that I mentioned in twitter before (if you followed me). Is it a karma or something? I was really speechless REALLY(!) when I found out this. Com'on, my lord do you need to fool me in such a way? Past and present. If you know what I meant. Please! I beg you, no more in my future please. Give me a 926 guy instead! But dont come a gay later. lol

Lai said I'm jealous. LOL i'm........not? arghh I dont know. I choose not to confess not because I afraid I got rejected. No big deal about it. It's because I dont want any relationship. I am selfish in that manner. I'm not that kind with play play type, I want a long relationship, probably towards marriage? Stay single, away from troubles. Well said. I'm happy to be single though. :)

Another thing, they said I'm too man. Well, I'm just doing things that nobody wanna do. I'm alone there, impossible if you want me to wait a real guy to help me carry boxes right? Speaking of this, I'm a bit(just abit) frust that day when the guy didn't even have the intention to help me carry those heavy boxes while all he did was waiting me to carry to him and he arranged the books. Com'on, are you a man?! I doubt that ==

#BBW, starting of my brotherhood. Thanks to yy for promoting. lol

It came to an end.

BBW is over once again 3 days ago. So many things happened in these 22days. Let's start with the 1st setup day. 6.30am work. To help setting up the tables, putting books on, arranged them bla bla bla. We did for children section. Hell damn lots of books, like seriously. You know, kid's books. Lol. The next 2 days were about the same thing.

Thursday 6/12, the preview day for the booksale. Launching and stuffs like that. 2000 people get to come in and do their shopping before the other thousands do. I'm in charged of the cookery section. I just dont understand why the management dont just separate the team according to section for the setup, cz I really had some hard time finding books for the customers for the first few days. sigh. So after the preview day, here comes the mission 63hours, where the booksale is running nonstop on Friday, Saturday and only closed on Sunday night. Crazy isn't it? For me, definitely. The crowd is HUGE! you have no time to replenish or arranging the books properly. Imagine thousands of ppl were there and the tables were seriously like pasar malam lelong cz everything is messed up terribly! I was so ..... speechless. And for the 3 days I'm in the midnight shift. 

I really dont understand those who came for books there. All educated human but behave like monkeys. Take everything but at the end just dumped whatever dont want EVERYWHERE! Pity us the crew who need to sort out the 'trash' according to the sections and spoilt thousand of books. ==
Flip books also can cause damages. How the hell on earth la they flip it? I really dont understand. And want to take a good condition book, dig deep deep but not putting the 'hole' back. COM'ON!! Actually all the books that everyone searching for is there if everyone behave nicely, not causing any mess. Seriously! Ended up some customers leave with disappointed. 

Working in the cookery section is indeed a fun thing actlly. Besides drooling seeing the yummy food pictures in the midnight, super heavy cookery books(hard cover), memory game placing back the books, 14 tables which is so far from the 1st table to the 14th, everything is just fine. Haha. Talking about my section, I actlly do have a leader and other 2 teammates. But.....haih. my leader is the one who kaki snake. 1st few days still a good leader(at least I can still see him around). But after 3days, I only saw him when clock in time and meal time. LOL Not complaining, he's a good guy though. :) The other 2 girls, always go to other section to find their friends. == Only me there so stupid working alone for 14tables, doing works that nobody want to do. Can find me 24/7 at cookery btw. But seriously, not to compliment myself, but I'm not the type that can simply let go something assigned without getting it done. That's my integrity I guess? :)

Thank god, I have my own 'army' who will constantly helped me out when they have nothing to do. Some said a lot of ppl came to cookery section just to 'touch' books cz the books here are already tidy in that manner. lol Somehow, really appreciate them to even just hang around so that I can leave that place for a second. While Architecture & Design(AD) section is just beside cookery which is a bonus. Haha. Always ran there with yy to catch up with Carson. Helped him arranging books, while the actual purpose is to sneakpeak some new titles for ourselves. HAHA

Overall, I bought 50 books in this booksale. My godness == The archi books is extremely CHEAP! Where on earth can you find such a deal if not in bbw?? Outside cost around Rm200+, I just bought with 25bucks. Like seriously. == And some other self help + business + Non fiction books. 30% of the books I bought are those unwanted books that those ppl threw at my section. I flipped over, found that it's interesting and bought them home. haha

It's another unforgettable working experience for me. Meeting lots of nice friends, doing something I never did before and just no regret signing up for this although it's damn bloody tired. It's finally over after start counting days since the 1st weeks. Time flies and life is still going despite doomsday never come. I'm glad that I lived my life! Peace. :)

p.s. Sorry for the boring text~ 

Or maybe I simply feel protected beside him? I dont know.

20.12.2012

Such a nice date although it's already 1am. Just in case tmr is really the doomsday, let's complete a last post here.

I seriously thought that the day is on 22/12 until someone mentioned it today during dinner break. LOL why you tell me??? adui.. Anyway, no regret ady la. At least a last dinner together. xD

Just saw the pic. Another 1. Hey girl! let go your hand. I din even take a solo pic with him b4. == but they all are not a threat to me. hahahah lol

p.s. What a surprise that suddenly got these 2 friends(different group) told me that I had my kind of good smell. I was like, ''what??'' == hahaha
p.p.s. I unexpectedly did something in Den's car. adui. malu shit. And I found tht he's quite cute also. so my type~~ hihi *evil smile* too bad ppl got gf ady.. haha

Fuck lo. Dont touch him! I'm watching you!!

The one.

You can remember the thing about the person you concern of even with only just a glance. :)

Keep it simple.

Let's stop all these weird thoughts and live my life. I just want everything to remain the same as how it is now. I'm fear of losing a friend, or perhaps you.

All-rounded.

I have such an indescribable feeling knewing that he is drawing again. Impressive. Maybe because I'm just fond of his skills that I dont think I will ever meet such a person in my life. I'm surrounded by future-dentist, economist, designers, doctors, definitely not an artist.

Or perhaps I'm just envy that I cant even draw a cat properly? I think he is right-handed. If you know what I meant. ;)

p.s. Another crappy post.

p.s.s I enjoy twitting recently. Because of him? her? them? Everyone! Good night. :)

What the hell am I thinking now? Damn it. You cant imagine how a small thing, really a small one ruined my mood now. omg. i feel so shit. If it's other person I might not feel hard bout it. But............ i dont know. really.

I guess the lecturer would be like, "THIS IS THE WORST BATCH EVER!!!!" screaming whole day long and I guess with their kepo level, the whole office already know about this. lol

Boom boom boom

The biggest problem is you dont even know what's the problem.

This just doesn't work. He is talented, hardworking, idealist, determined, humble, self-personality and cute I would say. And me, nothing. :/

Whenever I'm trying to make myself to be 'seen', there's always something pulling me backward. I think I really need to decide where should I belong.

At this moment. I'm disappointed of myself.

#Heartbeat increase.

Not so obvious.. Dont be the 1st to like. haha

I tried not to stalk so obvious. hhhahahaha *fat hao-ing

Ahhhhh I LOVE YOUUUUUUU bahahaahaha

I still have a place to hide. Here.

LUI LUI LUI $.$

SO POOR! SO BROKE! SO POKAIIIIIII!

Was having final crit for design on tuesday. Horrible. Only 5 made it on time to class that day. Whie the rest all late. ahhahahhaha. 9.30 class. but everyone came at 11 except the 5. Really speechless. As usual. did all the drawing the day before. Horrible! Drawings were ok, just not detail enough. I'm happy that I managed to draw the elevations correctly. yay!

And the printing for the board was like sucking my blood. Damn freaking expensive. Few piece of scanning and the 3 A1 printing cost me about RM36 ! Damn. Thank god i have Rm50 in the wallet. On the same morning, i took taxi to cheras. Faster. Wanna do some touch up and printing. It was RM 17.40 on the meter. Gave him rm50, but he dont have change. After digging my wallet for all the small change and syilling I had, there only rm16. So i just, "RM16 boleh ah?" LOL thank god he was like ok la ok la. hahahahah damn poor ady. After the printing, i lend to CBC rm 10. wallet left, rm3. After lunch at mamak, left 20sen. =.=

Poor till need to borrow money from Mr.Baktiar to go home. 

Yesterday stayed over at Val's place to complete the video. Everyone in the house was broke too. hahahaha. So we planned to go Leisure Mall at night to withdraw money. At last, when we were about to go out, rain poured. Heavily! So plan called off and ordered for pizza. When the pizza guy came, everyone was digging their wallet and I have only 10bucks from cbc. That time was like so funny because the money was just enough. haha

Today was done. Thought that can sleep until naturally wake up tmr. Who knows, tmr got tutorial wth lecturer. Haizh. Life. 2weeks more and i'm free! Sabar je la dulu. :/

Ciaoz.

p.s. Broad chest.

i'm so fucked up everytime i see this shyt. tmr is the day. god bless. -.-

Silent death.

Making a mistake is not the worst, if dont get lesson and learn over it, then that's totally hopeless.

5th Oct

Went to campus today purposely just to submit an assignment. Was late summore. hmm~
I just reached home @ 1.30pm just now after having breakfast with classmates at 11+ LOL

While on the way home, in the lrt, I was with SokMin when we came across a middle-aged man who was asking us on the direction to KL Sentral. He was very thankful that we answered him after a bad morning he went through. From his expressions it seems that everyone he asked doesn't know the way. LOL showed that how selfish the people are nowadays, in Malaysia. Well he's a Singaporean.

So we offered him to follow us since I'm going off at Masjid Jamek to change train also. On the way, he shared a lot on values of life.. etc stuffs like that. Though I'm not a very religious person, I do agree with what he said. He got robbed at Pudu this morning once he reached Malaysia and had a shit time in the police station with rude officers. Singapore embassy was closed due to construction and he was penniless.
So he was heading to KLSentral to wait for his brother to reach at 10pm tonight.

Before we split to different route, I offered him with RM20 for his meal today despite he will be waiting for his brother for the whole day long even I'm like so broke for spending a lot this week. I was thinking, If I'm in such a shitty situation, I would also hope that someone could help me. Even if you said maybe he's lying or pretending, well at least I'd done my part to help. He asked for my number, so we shall see. :)

While at M.Jamek, I met a long lost tuition friend. haha! I looked at him. He looked back. I looked again and laughed. He looked and smiled. The we went in to different door. I scared I see the wrong person so I wasn't say hi or what. We rarely talk last time, but today he talked more than I do. LOL

Thinking of what am I supposed to be doing now, is it worth my time? What do I want? What's my future?

Anyway, chill a minute. I wish I'm really there right now, overlooking the stone giant, making this typical pose. HAHA! Happy weekend my friend! T.G.I.F.!

P.s People come and go. I'm still waiting for the right one. Peace.

Confirmed. But I wasn't having any hard feelings. Life goes on. Peace. ><

True Friends.

I'll take 15mins for this.

My birthday was just over. 926 926 926. kept reminding other people through this combination of numbers. haha

Well, my 926 was Uni, drafting. perspective drawing, classmates, jokes, laugh, lecturers, visual diary, economy rice, McDonald and sundae. Birthday was rather ordinary on that day. Perhaps this year, I'm totally fine and comfortable this way. Keep the mind simple and busy did stop me from thinking nonsense and put myself in the bad mood. After all, if I could live another year, next year will be another 926. :)

My coursemates, come from different range of personalities. It's fun to have them around. Till now, I cant forget how you xiang(another yx) explained to Z on sarcasism. Really LMAO! hahahaha

Last Friday was the final crit. The day before I was too desperate on what to design and suddenly 'POP' this thing(my current design) out due to lack of time. And it was approved to proceed. The lecturer told us to leave the class for 30mins for them to evaluate. So we all went down to the cafeteria and 'blow water'(nothing else can do somehow). As usual, laughters were around. Everyone looked tired because of not sleeping for days yet the mind got wild to say nonsense stuffs,especially Val. haha. Well, it's normal.

Later on, when we were back to class, the lect. said everyone failed, except one. They didn't wanna mention is who, but I think is Julian due to the drawings. I dont know, just a guess.

I went for a short tutorial with Mr. Baktiar after that. (Was a longgg Q) He is a great man. Salute him so much. He gave me some suggestions on 'blending' my design. As usual again, my mind will complicate simple things and here am I now, still thinking and have not get my hands on, whereas others are already halfway. *F myself.

And Thanks Val and Ervin that day for accompanying me to wait for bus. For >30mins. lol Another funny and nonense conversation we had.

Around 5, got a text messages from EC, I was on the way back. Lol. Was like really last minute for a dinner at 7. hahaha. I didn't expect EVERYONE to make it. I really appreciate how we spent time together. We see everyone growing(mature-ing). 6 years and still counting. Thanks again! True friends are how we do not agree with each other sometimes, but after a minute, 'What's just happen?' Haha.

Frankly, the first wish was really a wish, The following, I really cant think of anything actually, so there we 2 empty wish actually. I believe more in fate. Thanks SoonYee, Ee Chien, Ru Jen, Pek Hua and Wei Jan again for making my 'birthday celebration' another memorable one. Peace ^^v

Holding up a parking lot for Ms. HoHoHo. (Super hard to get parking!)

Love you guyssssssssss! <3 p="p">

Birthday dinner with family, i guess it's a birthday dinner! haha. No cake. Nevermine, the cake that my girls bought still left half in my fridge. LOL. On Saturday night @ DELIcious. As usual(again) my mum who likes to take photo, my sis who likes to 'check-in', and my dad who always said, 'Eat also so mafan(refers to all the photo-taking and check-in stuffs) HAHAHA. I had a cute family I could say.

<3 p="p">

Mummy cooked last night. How rare! hahaha. She said, if wanna post on fb, must write good caption. -.- beh tahan. Another facebook addict in my house, making my line damn slow with 3users now. LOL 

The end.

Shit. I used 45mins for this. -.- I'm off to do design now. If not I will need to bang myself on the wall.

I'm a simple human being. How you treat me reflects how I treat you. Just that simple. Thank you everyone who draws my life for who am I today. I love every single person i've ever met including the annoying lecturers. haha. 

P.s. Sometimes when you are too pissed off of your life, you will not fear of death. Don't worry, i'm not that stupid enough to go suicide. It's just a thought that I have for previous weeks when I was drown with all nonsense problems. I'm now a happy man :D

P.s.s. A proper post(I meant like not just 1 or 2 sentences post) after............. 18months? haha

I'm now a 19. God . I feel old!!!!!!! next year i'm 20!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOO

I want forver 18! hahahahaa

Mind fuck fuck fucked up.

I'm not emo, I'm just........ not happy.
I'm sick of being tough. Because they know I can go through it.
I'm stressed for no one I can throw out to.
The loudest laugh is the deepest darkness you didn't see.

As I said, thank god I realised the thing I should since the beginning. And I'm done for this.
Tomorrow, I meant later will be a good day. Hopefully. Peace.

felt like screaming out loud. Why is this always happen on me?? I have feelings too. :'(
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh damn it

yer 生气生气生气！ ><

When a guy is treating you good, you wouldn't know whether is he also treating the others the same.

Pressure of getting 3.5.
I only want fun. :(

mm ngam channel. ;)

我很矛盾.真的不想跟他讲话.

Week 7

越来越觉得这群人很有趣。

天无绝人之路！

Mistake repeated. Fuck myself. End.
麻木到没有感觉了。
At the end I believe everything will has its solution.

p.s. Cheer up man. Nothing to sad also

A piece of shit I just produced.

Mind fucked up

New semester, old tricks.

Peer pressure from all aspects.
烦啊

为毛要让我认识他?

RAndom

" Happiness is still happiness regardless of the amount and long lastingness. "

-Quoted by a friend just now.

I would like to mark this because somehow he made me realise of something. Even that moment was short, happiness is still happiness. Wasn't feel that bad anymore now. Truly proven that time can make everything fades away. To be happy is to believe. I will remember that.

Smile EEEEEEEEEE :D

做好自己就好。
Too lazy to ask, to demand, to bother, to explain and whatsoever anymore.

The power of words

is undeniable....................

Him

He's really cute! Too bad he's owned. hmm~
Nevermine la, i will still 祝福 him. :)

p.s. I wanna date a MAN, not a boy. LOLS

I have a god damn feeling!

I truly believe in fate.
So there's nothing to be sad of.
Yet i feel so complicated now.
WHAT THE FUCK! *sorry i'm just stressed out.

The person who can't cry is the weakest one. Yes I am.

p.s One night with two bad news. I'm not as tough as I think though. F!

Dont know what to say. Just remain silent will be good enough.

-.- V

Doesn't want to talk bout this on my blog actlly. But I really......!
My whole fb news feed is FULL with the Bersih thingy since yesterday night. That's fine, nothing wrong bout it.
What I'm really sad of as a Malaysia citizen is that we dont see such things happen in our country back then.
When I was still in secondary school, I remember I was taught in class that 'Malaysia ialah negara yang mempunyai kestabilan politik berbanding negara-negara lain'.
I dont know since when street demonstation becomes the trend for us to release the political thinking in our country.

As for today's rally, the authorities did mention that it's a peace rally. PEACE rally. If your people just sit there to demonstrate, then should be no problem la. The policemen will definitely also not take any action on the people. It's kinda impossible for everyone to control their emotions especially when it comes to the climax. They will start to buat kacau, fight, throw this and that and whatsoever. This time, kids also know that definitely the police will do something right? Takkan la want to let them throw dunno-what to them doing nothing.
When the situation is not under control, the policemen use their teargas-whatsoever, the people complain. Blame them, make HUGE reports in facebook, is it really their fault at first place?

The police are just somehow doing their duties. If you don't touch them, they wont touch you. I think they are more afraid than the demonstrators, cz they are only 1k vs 150k, and even if they only 'touch' the people, will definitely kena attack kau-kau in social medias.

Still, I need to pay my respect to those polite demonstrators who showed the spirit of protesting not through physically but from their gentleness. This is what a PEACE rally should be. If you want to play the game, make sure everyone from both side follow the rules.

I'm not a BN supporter nor Pakatan supporter. I'm just a concern citizen_END

Why so hard?

Though everything SEEMS normal, but I can feel that it's not the same anymore.

So should I continue to act as there's nothing happen?

That few days were really tough for me. Those who really know me knows that I am a very straight forward person. To hide my feelings and expressions is really REALLY challenged my patience. Not to say or show that I'm a very honest/sincere person. But in such matters, YES I am.

Everyone thought that I'm emo because of assignments. Part of it, yes, but it's actually about this.

Till today, I'm still thinking bout this, trying to comfort myself that I'm right. Definitely, bcz it's really not my fault.

p.s. I just dont like to hurt anyone, that's why I'm always the one feels bad for everything. Enough. I'm done.

p.p.s. I received a better offer job than the Maxis one, but I rejected it. Got mumbled like hell from mom. And I said, "BECAUSE I HAVE CREDIBILITY". And my dad just laughed. lol. Is it really that funny? Because that's me.

Sometimes being the real you is just as hard as to get 100% in exam_END

**Thanks for reading :)

I dont want to retake this!! NEVER!

It's not bad

.......it's just really really bad. I do believe in fate.

And I'm getting more and more disappointed to myself.

My flaming spirit has gone.

Expected. HAHAHAHAHAHAH

GAWD!

I'd been sitting on this chair for 11.5hours !! From 8am till now. 11.5 HOURS!!! fml!

TAN YANXIAN!!

DO YOUR ENGLISH!! DESIGN IS TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!

wtf

Well well well

I'm suppose to do my journal now since the submission is tomorrow. Was given the assignment from the 2nd week of the class, but my papers are still empty now. hmm, hard to change my last minute attitude. SOmehow i'll still produce something to be handed in tmr. :)

Last week was crazy, Sunday to Thursday, I slept not more than 10hours. I guess besides hanging on, it's still hanging on. I always tell myself that someday the hard days will definitely leave me. Therefore, I'M STILL HANGING ON!

The next design project is a bit different from previous semester. Wasted few hours arguing some matters to solve the problems. Stayed in campus to build the site last saturday until 2am, and overnight there. Though it was late, but everyone still fooling around all the time. haha

Today's class, we drew orthographic drawings. Then during English, half of the class cabut balik because NONE of us did the work that we should show to our lecturer! hahaha. Then we persuaded the lecturer to postpone the lecture and dismiss the class. ;D

That's all for now I guess. Long time didn't update here, I AM LOSING READERS! but who cares??! hahahahahahhahahaahhahahhaahhahahhah

Life is hard MAN!

[I cried last night in the middle of sleeping. wtf? Maybe I'm just too stressed out~]

"without you

i feel missing something"

I hope what you said is true. :)

Sweating already!

My design doesn't even convince me. How can i make others to buy my idea then? F

Pressure is so not my type!

The first week of college is over. Yeah OVER! hell fast man.

Basically it's just the introduction for each subjects. The real business will start next week.

omgimabitscaredhonestly

Today is Saturday. Didn't want to wake up actlly jz now. Seriously too tired after squash, jogging, going here and there to buy tools and wake up so early everyday.

5th, 6th and 7th consequently are my friends bday.

Eunice, Allen, AiDee & Fred

I'm so sorry anyway, didn't really wish them properly.

I did remember, but after the long day, I forgot and just wished them through fb sms msn & wtever.

I here wish you guys all the best. We still have 299days for 2012, let's make everyday counts!

#Oh ya, my 2012 resolution: A peaceful life. I'm currently too weak for any challenges.

2012's first post. 11.39pm

I edited half way. Just couldn't finish the entire post.

So I start with a new one. ==

2011 was a huge transformation for me.

Sad things was uncountable, but always balanced along with lots of sweet memories.

#The thing that I regret the most in 2011 is .......................... I'm still single!

nahh just joking, not that desperate yet. is..... I DIDN'T BUY THE CONVERSE BACKPACK THAT I SAW DURING THE VISIT TO BEIJING! omg!! it's been like 6months and I still damn sad till now. haizh!

Whatever it is, Happy New Year !

For me, it's a tough year ahead.

I'll just wait and see what my 2012 happens to be.

_Live is hard!